A Little Bit Brave

"Psh, that's ridiculous." I thought while watching Pocahontas for the millionth time. The whole spinning compass and magic flower wind was a little out there for my fourteen-year-old sensibilities. "You're not supposed to follow your heart. Haven't you ever heard Jeremiah 17:9?" ||" The heart   is deceitful above all things   and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?" -Jeremiah 17:9|| Clearly, you should not follow your heart. It is deceitful (above all things!!!) and super wicked (like, even more than the musical), and incurable and just generally horrid. If you do follow your heart, you'll end up miserable and cold and alone. No one can ever conquer the heart, so you should probably just ignore it when it tells you about that thing you're passionate about, or that crazy idea you've had for years. So you take this seemingly sound advice, and you leave behind those crazy things your heart keeps telling you to do. After all...

||"You are your own definition of beautiful." - Taylor Swift || It seems like almost every Christian blogger is obsessed with coffee. Maybe it's just me, but between "About Me" pages and Twitter descriptions, the phrase "coffee-lover" is everywhere. It's not just bloggers. It's other teenagers in general. It's on t-shirts and Pinterest boards and giftcards because you couldn't think of something personal to get someone. I don't drink coffee. I don't like coffee. I just don't. I'm not a mother (obviously). I don't blog about raising children. I'm only sixteen. Only sixteen. I have a hard time finding blogs written by other Christian teenagers. When I'm looking at Twitter accounts it's always like, "Christian blogger, mother of like 5 amazing kids I lost track because I have enough love for 20 of them." I've never even changed a diaper. I find a lot of blogs written by ...

Ah, July. The month of Independence Day parties, illegal fireworks, swimming, speech and debate camps, and wishing I had my license. This month went by really fast, but I did learn (or re-learn) a few things in its 31 days. 1. Calendars are more fun when they're pretty I got a new weekly/monthly planner the other day, and if it weren't for the lovely green and blue cover, I probably wouldn't ever use it. But since it does have a lovely green and blue cover (and interior), planning things months ahead may become a little more common. 2. Journaling actually helps No, I don't write in meticulous detail about everything I did that day. That would be boring. But I do write how I feel about things, which keeps me from imploding. When you write, it doesn't have to be extensively descriptive. Just get your thoughts down and you'll feel better. 3. Panic doesn't help But I still panic. And it doesn't help. Don't panic. It just str...

||"Believe in yourself!" -The lamest confidence quote that is supposed to make all your insecurities go away. (how???)|| My debate partner got me socks for Christmas and I love them. They're not normal, solid colors. They aren't no-shows. They are knee-high, purple and green/black and purple striped glories. And I wear them with my suits. Don't freak out. I don't wear them into speech or debate rounds. That would be a little far. But I do walk into tournaments, totally professional from hair to knees. Pencil skirt, hairspray, blazer, blouse. And, of course, knee-high bright green socks. I don't wear the socks to get compliments or attention. I wear them because they're awesome, and wearing them with my professional tournament attire is a beautiful summation of my personality. When we talk about confidence, the conversation is all too frequently reduced to positive self-talk and smiling more often. But saying "I am beautiful,...

||"Cease striving and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10|| One of my friends from youth group is a ballet dancer. Every year, from early September to late November, is Nutcracker Season. At the busiest part of this season, she's in the dance studio seven days a week. She and the other dancers practice hours each day, memorizing each dance, learning to move to the music with every limb in place, a smile on their face. Oh how I admire ballet dancers. Thanksgiving weekend, they perform. And it's beautiful. The dresses and sets are nice and all, but the real beauty comes from the dancers. The movements are smooth, practiced to perfection. The months of practice come together in one fantastic show. These girls have learned exactly when and where to move in time to the music. Sometimes I live my life the same way. Don't get me wrong. I have about as much coordination as a baby elephant. Ballet is not soon to be listed among my list of talents (w...

||"I'm a mess and so are you; we've built walls nobody can get through. Yeah, it may be hard but the best thing we could ever do ... Ever do ..."|| (If We're Honest by Francesca Battistelli) I sit across the table from him while the others listen to another generic pop song. We started out discussing a debate ballot, but the conversation has gradually reached a different point. Though my friend already knew some of the story, even more than most people, I knew I needed to share the whole story. For the past seven months, I'd been keeping my friends at an arms length away. After losing a friendship the summer before, I didn't want to get hurt like that again. But that night, in mid February in a hotel in Missouri, I chose to trust again. *** Honest is one of the bravest things we can be. We have this instinct that tells us we have to be perfect and happy all the time, or at least look that way. So we build a wall to keep our friends ou...

If you are a teenage girl who has ever read a relationship related book or blog post by a Christian woman, you've heard of "the List." The List, if you don't know, is the concept of making a list of qualities you look for in future husband (I don't know if there are guy books/blogs out there that encourage the dudes to do this for future wives, but I guess that's a possibility). It's well-intentioned, and in the right circumstances, it can be beneficial. Typically, the List starts off with one of the various ways of saying the 'obvious': 1. Must be a die-hard Christian There are a thousand ways to say it, but that's the basic idea. This obviously isn't a bad thing to want/need. There's nothing wrong, with wanting to date and marry a Christian. In fact, you should  date and marry a Christian. But all too frequently we end up with this unclear idea of what a Christian is. And so teenage (and even preteen) girls start w...