Saturday, January 23, 2016

I Am Not a Feminist

When, on popular TV, they show an abortion, saying "here, try this out, it'll make your life better."

When they say to us that we can be as promiscuous as can be because that will give us freedom

When, in every clothing store, the skirts get higher and the shirts get lower.

When, with magazines and blockbuster movies, they tell me what I'm worth.

When they say it doesn't matter what I wear, because I'm not the one responsible for wandering eyes.

When they tell me dressing modestly means I'm shaming someone else.

When, with catchy slogans and campaign promises, they fight against the 'war on women.'

When those who flaunt their bodies and shout their abortions are lauded across social media...

I am not a feminist.

There's no escaping the propaganda that speaks to women, telling them to defy the limits that have been put on us. Wear whatever you want, demand equal pay, equal rights, equal jobs, have sex whenever you want with whomever you please, demand to be heard, no matter who you hurt. They say to push the blame onto men and republicans, who take away 'reproductive rights.' "These are the ones waging war on us!" they cry on the screen and in every news stand.

Wear whatever you want, be whoever you want to be. You don't need anyone else. You can be strong and independent, no man can tell you what you can and can't be. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are attacking you and your freedom.

They demand that they not be objectified by men, even if what they wear cuts low and high, leaving little to the imagination, even if they treat men the same way they claim men treat them. They criticize commitment and intention, they reject modesty because it's oppressive. They wage war on dress codes and marriage. They claim they fight for equality, but the very name is unbalanced.

If this is what feminism is, I want no part.

My worth, my identity is not based on what other people think of me. Being a girl makes me different from being a boy, but it doesn't make me less than. Salaries and skinny jeans and someone trying to shame something doesn't change who I am, and it doesn't change who you are.

These women that fight for "equality" are actually fighting for a sense of self worth. They say they want respect, when all they want is love and affirmation. They want to be good enough, to be worthy. They fear being treated as less-than because that is how they feel. Every word spoken in opposition is a personal attack against the foundation on which they've built security.

But their foundation is the sand of the shore, and when the tide comes in, their self-worth and their confidence fall.

I am not a feminist because I know where where my worth comes from. I know why men and women are equal, and it has nothing to do with careers, slut walks, or sexual liberation. I refuse to be a victim just because someone says I am. Worth doesn't come from curvy legs or skinny waists, or confidence in those things.

Dear girl, your worth isn't found in being wrapped up in an well-paying career, or showing off your body, or the affirmation of any person but one. Just one.

Your Savior says you are worthy. Worth living for, worth dying for. Not because of anything you've done, not because of anything I've done, but because He loves us. That is the foundation of our worth. And so instead of making ourselves out to be the victims, God allows us to be the victors.

When Jesus was on earth, he treated everyone with the same respect and love and kindness, men, women and children. From the rich young man, to the middle-aged, romantically challenged Samaritan woman at the well, to young children. Jesus was concerned with love before equality. Because, without love, we have nothing.

Maybe when feminism becomes about loving and respecting all people, I'll change my mind. But until then, I am not a feminist. That's what's up.


Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Enough with Enough

The room wasn't clean enough. The makeup wasn't blended enough. The skirt wasn't big enough. The speech wasn't persuasive enough. The hair wasn't straight enough, then it wasn't curly enough. The waist wasn't small enough. The voice wasn't clear enough. The words weren't pretty enough.

I wasn't perfect enough.


If you've ever felt like you aren't good enough, these words are for you.

Because you're right. You aren't good enough. You aren't good enough because the standards are impossible, and you aren't perfect.

That's the bad news. The good news? You don't have to be.

You don't have to have perfect. No matter what you've heard, no matter what you've told yourself. You can't be perfect, and you don't have to be.

I'm tired of people wishing they had that one thing. If they had that hair, or those clothes, or that grade, that talent, that popularity, they'd be enough. I'm tired of people shaming their own bodies. Of looking at themselves in the mirror and saying "my hair looks awful," "my hips look so big," "I wish I looked like someone else."

You are you, I'm sorry to say (not really, it's true and I won't apologize for saying true things). You are you, and that's all you can be. The moment you try to become someone else, you lose one of the most valuable things you have.

The way you laugh, the way you cry. The way your voice sounds. Your hopes and dreams.

Yes, you change and become a better person and that's wonderful. But despite the different phases, despite the growth and change, despite the pain and heartbreak, despite the years that go by you are always you.

And I think that's wonderful.

You're you and nobody else. Nobody else in the whole world is you. Even if there's someone who's probably trying to be you, they're failing because nobody can be as you as you. And yes I sound like Dr. Seuss and I take that as a compliment.

If you think you have to be something more, something else, someone else to meet some of "enough," you are wrong. I've had enough with enough. Because the truth is?

You are more than enough.

You being you is all that you need. It's all God asks for.

Don't be anyone else. Don't be anything you're not, because you are better than that.

You are more, and that's what's up.