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Showing posts from 2018

lightning || a poem.

last year, I got the pleasure of coming to inspired poet, and I heard a poet speak. and one of the things that she said was that we need to use our voices even if were afraid and even if its just a whisper. and I have a friend and mentor who has told me that I have something to say. and in our first session, my counselor told me, he reminded me that nobody has everything together.

these are the things I want to tell you. and this is my whisper.

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here is the finished product
on fluorescent light display
you can see all the right brushstrokes
from behind a measured line
put on a platform because
this is finished, i swear
it is perfect
        perfect
        perfect
a masterpiece on display because
i know all the right places to
hide. it is easier to
hide. it is safer to 
hide behind layers of dishonest truth
i am okay
         okay
         okay
a lie told often enough becomes the paint


i brush on layers of half-truths until they turn to hues of
this is too good to touch
don…

When Perfect Isn’t Enough

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Perfectionist is not a word I would have used to describe myself.

Maybe that’s what should’ve told me that was exactly what I was. You see, I knew that I wasn’t called or supposed or able to be perfect. So, I denied that that was what I was striving for. I wanted excellence in everything, I wanted to make the most of my college education, I wanted to have it all in its exact place.

Perfection is easy when you can hide, when you can locate the nearest exit. If you say just the right thing, you can lie while telling the truth. At the very least, you can talk about hard parts, the weak spots, and the pain in a way that makes it seem like you’re walking out of it and don’t need any help.

I didn’t want to be weak. I spent this semester feeling weaker than ever. I kept writing fiction and poetry because it’s easier to hide behind the words of a character, easier to hide behind metaphor than actually say concrete words for myself. In real life, I mumbled because I couldn’t believe my words w…

How Deep the Father’s Love

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Listen.

How deep the Father's love for usHow vast beyond all measureThat He should give His only SonTo make a wretch His treasure
Four-hundred years of silence.
The Jewish people went through wars and conquests and bondage. They struggled to understand the purpose of the Law. They struggled to see God in the waiting.
And here, there’s you. You see hard years and strife-filled families. You live wondering when things are going to get better. You fight the same battles, the same shame, sin, and scars. You struggle to see God in the waiting.
They held to a promise. Pages of prophecy paving the path of the Messiah, the Anointed One, the Savior. And with angel’s word and sheep’s bleating, He came.  The fullest expression of God, born under a tyrant king and legalistic religious rule.
How great the pain of searing lossThe Father turns His face awayAs wounds which mar the Chosen OneBring many sons to glory
Thirty years of life, three years of ministry.
Jesus walked the regions of Judea and Galil…