How to be the One Who has it All Together

Going to college for the first time brings a lot of changes. Many of those changes are amazing! However, there is one thing that should never change: how put together you are. With so many new people around you, you don't want to give the impression that your life isn't perfect. "Hadley," you may ask, "How do I make sure everyone thinks I have it all together?" I'm afraid this is no simple task, but here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Don't cry

Maybe you are completely lost in your math class, and even though everyone else understands, you can't figure out what's going on. Perhaps your best friend posted on her story a video of her having the time of her life with a big group you weren't included. There's a chance you're having a terrible time figuring out financial aids and loans and feel like you're going to be in debt for there rest of your life. However, crying is not okay. Hold it back and deal with your problems on your own. If you ask for help, others will realize you don't have it all together.

2. Wake up early

By waking up early, you will have time to brush your teeth, shower, choose a cute OOTD, start your Keurig, and post a highlighted verse with an adorable coffee mug to your Instagram story. Don't forget concealer to hide the bags under your eyes from staying up late to study! If you sleep in too late, you won't have time to get your bun to reach the correct level of messiness. Too messy a bun, too messy a life.

3. Take the back stairs

If you take the front stairs, everyone will see that you are out of breath and out of shape when you get to the third floor. If you go up the backstairs, you can catch your breath and fix your hair. Take a drink from your sticker-covered water bottle and get your "I can't wait to ace this test!" face on.

4. Don't study in your room

Studying in your room may lead to your roommate(s) walking in and seeing you stressed out over a paper. Don't let this be you! Find a quiet corner of the library, maybe that one place that smells weird so no one will see your distress. Get that paper done and tell your hall-mates it was a breeze! This is especially important if it's is one of your major classes; you don't want anyone to think you would second-guess a life-altering decision.

5. Work out when the gym is almost empty

This way, fewer people will see you fumble with the exercise equipment and realize you forgot your water bottle. Remember, it's okay to almost pass out on the elliptical machine as long as you get that gym time! Additionally, when you see people on the walking trail going faster than you or even running, remember that you could do better and should probably strain yourself to get rid of the ice-cream you ate last night because that guy rejected you.

6. Maintain your social medias

You need to remember to take pictures any time you hang out with someone and, even if you've only known the person in the photo for a week, let everyone who follows that this person is your best friend. Be sure to retweet the occasionally relatable college student post, but be careful. Too many retweeted lighthearted jokes about falling behind may lead people to believe you are falling apart. Also, if you don't post often enough, people won't be able to see all the crazy fun you're having. Always remember: a empty feed is an empty life!

7. Never tell anyone what's going on in your life

Let's say a friend or mentor asks how college is going. Be ready to assure them that everything is fantastic. You're making more friends than can fit in one Facebook album, you've got all your tests and assignments under control, and you're so ready to go home and see your family over the upcoming break. Be sure not to mention any crippling anxiety, feelings of helplessness, or fear of not being able to reach the expectations of others. Your friends want to be there for you, but you should only ever be there for them. After all, you are the put-together perfect one.

Always remember: there are countless people looking to you, and you don't want to let them down. Keep any struggle contained and controlled so others won't think you aren't perfect.

Good luck everyone! And remember to stay perfect!


(p.s. I hope you realize this is satire. No one has everything together. See my last post for some non-satirical advice.)