Friday, March 18, 2016

this funny world

Whenever the subject of broken families is brought up at my youth group, I get overwhelmed.

I go to two youth groups, and within both of those I know that there are students there my age whose parents are divorced or split up. I can't imagine the way that feels, the hurt that brings. But I know that too many people are in the same situation.

Whenever I think too long about the hurts the people in my life are experiencing on a daily basis, I get overwhelmed. At church, at youth, at speech and debate. We walk around, acting like we're 'all right.' We carry shields so others don't see the struggle. No matter what's going on. No matter how bad it hurts. It seems safer to hold up the shields than face rejection and judgement.

Sometimes I start researching. I start researching the crappy things in the world that are accepted in the mainstream. Abortion. Pornography. Sometimes I just come across crap. Objectification. Hatred.

There's so much crap in the world. So much brokenness in so many ways. From divorce to high school breakups, from the loss of a friendship to the death of a family member. There are mass shootings in places where children should be safe. There is betrayal in places where trust should be a value. It's overwhelming. The pain is unbearable at times. Insecurity. Fear. Shame. Hurt.

|| "I'm a little girl, and I'm just trying to figure out this funny world. It's so big. It's got me running around. I just wanna be found by You." -Britt Nicole ||


There are moments where I'm so overwhelmed that all I can do is cry. I don't know how to pray about these things. These things are so much bigger than me, so much wider than my reach. I feel small and weak and insufficient. How could anything I say or do make a dent in the hurt? How could I even hope to begin filling the cracks in the walls?

Overwhelming is the only word I know to describe the damage the people in my life face. I hate it. I hate it so much. And I have no way to end it, to do anything to help it go away. I am overwhelmed and devastated. There's no end to the cracks in the walls and floor and ceiling. Everywhere I turn there's something else that's screwed up and I can't stand it.

I get so lost in all the insanity, in the hugeness of it all. The only way I can stand up straight is get on my knees. In the overwhelming brokenness, there is breathtaking peace.

|| "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7 ||


Those verses are hard to buy into when everything feels so wrong and so unstable. And things are wrong and unstable. The foundation the earth is built on is cracked all the way through. But Jesus came to heal. But Jesus came to give hope. But Jesus came to offer mercy. Jesus came to give peace we can't understand.

When everything is wrong, we can hold on to hope. We can hold on to what is true.

When everything is wrong, there is hope.

We just have to be brave enough to hold onto it.

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