The New to Come
Here we are, on the last day of the year.
We'll pull apart party poppers (say that three times fast), drink sparkling grape juice, make resolutions we sort of intend to keep, and make a big deal out of everything because "it's the first of this year!" And then there are those people who are always like, "remember last year, when..." and then go on to describe something that happened five minutes ago (okay I confess that person is me).
For me, this has been a long year. On the outside, they don't look too different. but everything feels so different than they did twelve months ago.
I'm ready for this year to be over. It's kind of like Christmas. It's great and wonderful, but only for a limited amount of time. If Christmas lasted any longer than it does, it wouldn't be as special. That nostalgic feeling, that anticipation leading up to December 25 wouldn't be the same if it lasted all year (sorry, Buddy, I'm not going to treat every day like Christmas). It's like how Frozen was so over-commercialized that even I got sick of it.
I think a new season of life is about to begin for me. Honestly, I can't wait for this one to end. I'm tired of this semester, this year. It's go on so long it's overstayed its welcome.
I'm ready for a new season, I think.
I'm braver than I was twelve months ago. I'm closer to God, which is the best thing that happened. I'm more okay with who I am. And with who other people are. I know myself better, but I also learned that's it's okay to not know exactly who I am.
Everything that happens adds more to who I am. Every heartbreak, every happiness, every conversation, every blog post, every yes and every no make up big and small pieces of who I am.
I'm really grateful for this year. The opportunities, big and small, that God has given me have helped me to become a little bit braver. More honest, graceful, and confident.. More who He made me to be.
That what we writers call "character development."
Even though this year has been good (albeit hard and long), I'm ready for it to be over. I'm ready for this season to end and for a new one to begin. I'm excited for the coming year.
I'm going into it with the Lord as my strength, confidence, and song. I'll let go of the past to take hold of a New Year. All the same, there are memories and lessons I want to hold onto.
To the memory of hurt and the low places, to remind myself that I can make it through the dark.
To the memory of exhaustion--emotional and physical and spiritual--to remind myself that I'm stronger than I think.
To the memory of insecurity, to remind myself that I am more than what I see.
To the joy, happiness, and excitement, to remind myself that every good thing is from God, and should be cherished.
To the encouragement and love poured into me by friends and leaders, to remind myself that I am not alone.
I want to remember this. The very end of a long year. A vulnerable blog post. Words God gave to give me hope for the future. The expectation of unexpected hope. The end of a season that has overstayed its welcome.
The beginning of something, God only knows what.
I know that I will chose to love, to hope, to give grace and receive it, to be honest, to be confident. To be a little bit more brave.
I hope you'll come with me.
It's a New Year, and that's what's up.