Your Body is Not Your Worth
|| "The Lord will be your confidence and keep your foot from being snared." -Proverbs 3:26 ||
Demi Lovato makes me sad.
Not because she went through rehab, or writes sad songs, or because the end of Princess Protection Program is emotional (though it is my favorite Disney Channel movie). Demi Lovato was on the cover of "Cosmopolitan" magazine in September. What did she have to say to those criticizing how sexual the cover image was?
"I feel incredibly empowered and the most beautiful I have ever felt on this magazine."
Demi just came out with a song called "Confident."
I hate it.
I don't hate Demi, don't get me wrong. But her song isn't about confidence. I don't think she even knows what confidence isn't. That's not her fault. Almost no one these days knows what confidence is. It's a word that's thrown around a lot, and there are a lot of definitions, but for now I'm going to talk about the definition mainstream media supports.
Today I watched Ariana Grande's "Focus" music video I got exactly what I expected.
The song is repetitive, like most pop songs. The repeating line is "focus on me," not surprisingly. But Ariana isn't asking you to focus on her. Not her personality or heart or soul. She wants you to focus on how sexy she looks while dancing, and how pretty her lips and hair look, and how high she can sing. Very impressive, Ms Grande.
I watched the Selena Gomez "Good For You" music video. I almost cried.
Selena is sexy, I guess. She can run her fingers through her hair and show her legs off and have a racy album cover. She can break up with Justin Bieber and hang out with Taylor Swift and pose for magazine covers.
But listening to "Good For You" makes me want to cry. I don't care if she broke up with Bieber. She's desperate for people to think she looks good. She cries for attention by taking clothes off, all the while saying she's become "confident."
Demi, Ariana, Selena. They make me sad.
They make me sad because girls my age grew up watching them on Disney Channel or Nickelodeon. Because girls my age see album covers and music videos. Girls my age download their songs. Girls my age eat up the sexy lyrics, sexy magazines, and sexy videos. And they equate sexy with confidence.
|| "[People] say modesty is a result of body shame. They say women who cover themselves do so because they lack self confidence; that if they were really free, they would shed those standards and their “modest” clothes along with it." -Phylicia Masonheimer ||
Because Demi can pose topless and makeup free, she must be confident. She must love her body.
Or maybe she showing her cleavage gets her the attention she craves.
Because Ariana can perform some sexy dance moves, she must be confident. She must love her body.
Or maybe what she really wants is someone to see past the close ups on her lips and legs and focus on the real her.
Because Selena can have a "revival," she must be confident. She must love her life.
Or maybe she realized that being a sexy former Disney star gets her attention, and she equates attention with adoration.
Maybe all these young women, and others like Taylor Swift, Fifth Harmony, Meghan Trainor, Katy Perry, and a dozen more, are just desperate for the love they aren't finding in camera flashes, big paychecks, and millions of Youtube hits. Maybe they just need someone to tell them "you're beautiful," "I'm proud of you,""I love you." Maybe cleavage, sexy dance moves, and crazy performances are just masks, hiding the fact that they don't feel like they're enough. Maybe they feel like being sexy, this idea of "confidence," is the way people will come to notice them.
And that breaks my heart.
Real girls, desperate for real things. Real acceptance. Real love.
So they show off their bodies and call that being "confident."
Please, girls. Please, please, please don't buy that lie. Don't buy the lie that you can shed insecurity by shedding clothes. You don't escape skinny shaming or fat shaming by showing off your body and saying that's confidence. Finding your identity in how much of your body you feel comfortable showing off will leave you broken and insecure every time.
Your body is precious. Please don't throw it around like loose change. Sex, bikinis, nudity. These aren't the things that satisfy your heart.
"I feel incredibly empowered and the most beautiful I have ever felt on this magazine."
Sorry, Demi. But I don't believe you. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think you feel the most insecure and needy than ever on this magazine. If you truly valued yourself, you wouldn't feel the need to show off your body at every opportunity.
Dear girl, you are precious. You should love your body. But that love should come from the fact that the one who made your body made your body as a temple for His spirit. He's given you a gift; don't abuse that gift.
Dear girl, if you're searching for worth, look no further than the arms of Jesus.
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